True Confession number one: I speed.
Yes that is right, I said it. I speed. More specifically I speed on the freeway, I make it a point not to speed elsewhere. But on the freeway, I speed. I speed constantly, consciously and compulsively. I've actually noticed myself getting anxious lately if I'm not going 9 miles an hour over the speed limit on the freeway. Even more concerning is the compulsion I feel to still go 74 MPH even when there is construction on the freeway and the speed limit is only 55 (which is the WHOLE freeway from my home to work). You see, I have this delusion that my behavior is completely appropriate, and even more so, that anyone NOT going that fast is ridiculous and needs to get out of my way. After all, don't they know that is how fast they are supposed to go?? Obviously I feel entitled on the freeway. I'm realizing this now.
I travel quite frequently on the freeway. 15 miles each way to and from work and then around and about for work everyday. (yesterday I logged 97 miles) I'm kind of proud to say that I've never gotten a speeding ticket (or any ticket for that matter). But that fact also plays into my delusion that my speeding habits are in the right.
Now that I've confessed I wish to share my new resolution. No more speeding! Especially in construction zones. Well, I should clarify and correct that statement. I will stay within 5 miles per hour of the speed limit. ( I do live in Utah, have you seen how fast everyone drives on the freeway??) I know, it seems like a silly goal to promise myself to only go 5 MPH over, after all speeding is speeding. But trust me... its been hard. My reasoning for this goal is multifaceted.
Some reasons, in no particular order:
1) Recently there have been lots of accidents around me, and yes... it scares me.
2) Lately I've noticed I live my whole life in the fast lane. I rush everywhere and am always in a hurry to get things done. My goal to slow down on the road will hopefully help me slow down in life.
3) I've become increasingly paranoid about other drivers. I have decided to take more control over my safety.
4) I decided that I admire the construction worker who work all day long in the hot sun. I couldn't do it. And I want to obey the reduced speeds because I know they are for the safety of the workers.
5) Honestly, it scared me how tense I was beginning to feel when I couldn't go fast. I was addicted in a sense. I need to slow down.
You should see me driving now! (Insert proud and cheesy smiley face here) I'm usually in the right lane (as opposed to always in the left lane). I take deep breaths to keep myself calm and reduce the desire to pass all the cars. I even cringe as people pass me. In true-to-myself nature I now am convinced that my new driving habits are the right way to drive and everyone faster than me is a maniac. I know I know. I am prideful and "always right".
Overall my new resolution is going remarkably well. I am sticking to it and actually noticing a change in other aspects of my life. I arrive at my destinations less tense and more relaxed. By giving up my need to control how fast I drive, I have lost that inevitable tension that comes when I can't always control traffic patterns. (The confession that I have a need to control everything will have to be addressed in some later post). Its great. I highly recommend it. I don't plan on giving up my reputation for being on time. I still value being on time to things but I find the two things unrelated and hope I can find an appropriate balance.
Conclusion: It is good to learn to let go, to learn to slow down, and to remember what things are most important in life.
On a side note, I couldn't help but thinking of this song as I contemplated my new goal.
Does anyone else feel like life is some sort of race and you are rushing to "come in first"? What have you done to avoid those thoughts of competition and the need to always go go go?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
There is such a thing as driving too fast and such a thing as going to slow. In Chicago, where there are often 4-5 lanes packed with traffic going about 70-75mph, it is important that you drive fast enough to keep with the pace of traffic. So there is such a thing as going "unsafely slow" in certain situations, but I imagine you can drive as slow as you see fit in the right lane out there around SLC-Provo. It's good that you are breaking a bad habit, even though it's one that like 4 out of 5 people have. At least you aren't afraid to drive anymore!
That music video? Amazing. Also I admire your goal making and keeping. It's hard to change habits, even seemingly simple ones like that. So good work!
I have noticed the same behavioral effects of speeding, as in since I am always rushing somewhere I feel so tense and stressed and when I drive calm I tend to me much more emotionally and mentally stable and calm! Amazing how such a thing as driving fast can affect so many aspects of your life!
Post a Comment