In my free time tonight I decided to re-read some of my blog entries from the blog I kept prior to becoming a Mrs. In reading the posts I decided I want to try something new. Here is my plan, its called: Monday's Memories. I think Flashback Fridays sounds better, but alas, today is Monday not Friday. I won't make any promises on how long this will last or how entertaining it will be for you guys, but I'm pretty excited about it. It'll give me a chance to read though my old posts and reflect on how I have (or have not) changed. Some posts will be simply a quote or paragraph from the old writings. Some will include new commentary or perspective. As I said, I don't promise anything and we'll just see where this goes.
To start things off I'm just going to copy over a couple paragraphs from my firsts blog post ever. Its kinda long, but had some good stuff and re-taught me some things. You can read the entirety of it here. The post was entitled I wear my heart on my tagline.
The picture shows the boy reaching for a heart. And, if you know me at all, you know I can be dramatic, and needy, and love sick etc etc (especially late at night which is when i found this picture... and probably why i liked it so much). However, I would like to expand this concept to more than just the idea of unreachable love. I think the item that is just out of reach could be anything. Recently I've talked to a lot of people who would give just about anything to have some more sunshine and time to play in it. Seeing as I spend most of my days in the library, this shared dream is just out of reach for me. Sure I could quit my job, decide school isn't really important and be able to appreciate the daylight hours and the sun (assuming Utah decided to actually continue the nice weather). but as appealing as that sounds, its not really what I want. And so life goes on. A dream set on hold, an ideal waiting to be reached, and all of this done with the hope that someday it will all work out.
That feeling of hope is an interesting feeling. Some days I feel it strongly, and I KNOW deep down that its true. That eventually everything will work out. But then some days.. some days its not so easy. Stress builds up, country songs put ideas in our heads, and our vision gets clouded. Its days like this that I find myself dreaming and wishing and not feeling any better. What we need to do is learn to appreciate what we have and not get stuck always reaching for something that is just out of reach. And so I end this post with a personal realization that I do know life is great. And I do know that I can be happy with what I have. And I do know that someday, all my dreams will be fulfilled. And until then... I will hold on to this hope that I have. Because its this hope that will keep me from reaching for what is just out of reach.
Isn't it funny that sometimes we learn the same lessons over and over and over again. Reading this today was very timely as it reminded me, yet again, that I can be happy with where I am today. And, you know what, I am happy. I mean, why wouldn't I be? I have a husband who loves me despite my imperfections (yes, I am still dramatic and needy at times) and who I love more and more each day. We have 2 great extended families who support us in everything we do. We have jobs that provide income allowing us live comfortably and save for our future. We have a warm house to keep us out of the elements (which lately has been a lot of rain). And we have the Gospel in our lives to remind us that we are not here on this earth alone or without a purpose. I'm sure my list could go on and on, but my point is that life is good and its time to start living in the present. Its kind of funny that I needed something I wrote over 3 year ago to remind me to live in the present. But it worked for me and I hope it helped remind you too!
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